Mama life in a pandemic is far from easy….

For some it’s been easy, some its been devastating and some, like me its been real, raw and incredibly challenging. Thankfully, not in a devastating way but in a kind of on the brink of loosing my sanity kind of way. I have 4 kids. Well, 3 full time and 1 half time. School got shut down in March and my kids have been home. Every. Single. day. Since. When I first heard of the closure it was originally for 6 weeks and I melted down in tears. For a thousand reasons. What was happening to our world? Were we going to be ok? My kids are torn from everything they know. How will I handle them being home for 6 whole weeks??? 

After a grueling remote learning experience in the spring, I decided, very prayerfully, to pull them from school and become a homeschool mom. I NEVER thought that was me. Like ever. God has taught me so much about myself and my ability to not only teach them but have the patience to have them with me 24/7. I have not had a day at home or even one second in my house alone since March. I am completely used to this but also feeling the effects as the year mark draws close. This is a lot for a mama to handle….so suddenly. It’s taken countless talks and prayers to push us through. 

So here I am now. Homeschooling two middle schoolers full time and homeschooling one 3rd grader part time. All the while chasing and entertaining my 3 year old. Thankfully, she has school two mornings a week, one of my only sanity savers. 

Moms, do you feel me? Are you over this more than words can say? Are you over exposers and quarantine? Are you over swabs and zoom? I know that every mom I know feels the aches. Let’s be real. It is draining and utterly hard. 

The positivity that has come from this and what God has taught me will change me forever. I am grateful that I have had this much time with my teenagers and have learned so much about them. I am thankful that I have the privilege to stay home and not work. I am thankful that I have a teenager that can stay home with the littles when I need to escape for a few minutes. Plenty of blessings abound in the hard. This is what we need to remember. 

But it is still hard. I still have to retreat to my room to hide under a blanket when I just can’t take one more whining sesh or demand. I need to say the name of Jesus out loud multiple times a day asking for His strength. And you know what? I am still here. Still pushing though.

My secret? Jesus. I spend time with the one person who knows me in and out and doesn’t pull out any stops when it comes to loving me. He understands the aches, the pains and the joys. He promises peace and rest and joy in the midst of the hard. I read His words everyone morning and soak them in, filling up my soul with His goodness to get through another day. God promises that His mercies are are new every morning. 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;

 they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Moms, Jesus is on your side. He can give you that breath of fresh air as you hide in a hole, trying to escape the hard. He will give you the push to get up and continue on with the hard. He gives us rest. He gives us purpose. He knows the plans He has for us…even if they seem mundane, they are purposeful and perfect. 

So remember, to count the blessings, lean on Jesus to get you through the hard and keep the name of Jesus close at hand. He longs to hear from you. Even if you don’t know Him, He knows who you are and He is there…always there!