When God Reminds You That You’re Not in Control
hand letting go of feather over a lake
When You’re Not in Control: Finding Peace in Letting Go
I pulled up to the church on a rainy Saturday morning, my car loaded with boxes of décor and trinkets for our monthly Tea and Testimony event.
Tea and Testimony is a gathering where we invite one of our women to share her story — why she loves Jesus and what He has done in her life.
I always feel a little nervous before an event. I want everything to be beautiful. Thoughtful. Perfectly in place. I hope for a sweet atmosphere of joy to fill the room. I don’t just want it to look lovely — I want the women to leave with peace, purpose, and encouragement.
But that morning, before a single teacup was set out, God had a different lesson for me.
The Moment I Realized I Was Locked Out
I carried each box individually to the front door. After emptying the car, I unlocked the church, disarmed the alarm, and began bringing everything inside.
When I reached the last heavy box, I couldn’t hold the door open and lift it at the same time. So I let the door close behind me.
I picked up the box, reached for the handle, tugged…
Locked.
Did I really just lock myself out?
No phone.
No keys.
No way in.
I set the box down and stood in stunned silence. I was completely hindered from continuing my task.
Decorating stopped.
Preparing stopped.
Planning stopped.
I was rendered useless.
When Control Slips Through Our Fingers
Questions flooded my mind:
What if everyone shows up and I’m not ready?
What if my friend doesn’t come with a key?
What if the event falls flat?
What if the women don’t receive what the Lord had planned?
As I paced the porch in the rain, waiting for help, I realized how much we rely on our own ability to make things happen.
Our phones.
Our schedules.
Our productivity.
Our control.
And then, in the quiet waiting, I felt the Lord gently whisper:
“Heidi, you are not in control.”
The Peace of Surrendering Control to God
I let that truth settle into my heart.
I began to repent of trying to control everything — not just church events, but my home, my writing, my parenting.
I move quickly through life. I plan. I execute. I strive. But in the process, I sometimes forget where my strength comes from.
Doesn’t this happen to us all?
We get so caught up in our daily tasks that we forget who is equipping us. We were never in control to begin with.
When we give our lives to Jesus, He gives us something we so easily overlook:
He gives us Himself.
He is the One using us.
He is the One sustaining us.
He is the One who holds the plan.
We can prepare and plan, but ultimately — He is in control.
And that truth brings such peace.
God Already Holds Your Days
Psalm 139:16 reminds us:
“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them
If You’re Tired of Trying to Hold It All Together
If you’re exhausted from trying to manage outcomes, control circumstances, and carry more than you were meant to carry…
You’re not alone.
I created a free 5-day devotional called Hope in the Hard for women walking through grief, uncertainty, and seasons where control feels impossible.
Each day gently walks you through Scripture, reflection, and reminders that God is near — even when life feels out of your hands.
If you need a place to slow down and surrender again, this devotional is for you.
Download Hope in the Hard here. 💛
When Life Forces You to Let Go
Standing outside that locked church door was a small reminder.
Losing my husband was a life-altering one.
In The Hard Journey to the Good: A Widow’s Journey from Loss to New Life, I share the raw and honest journey of navigating widowhood, single motherhood, fear, rebuilding, and learning to trust God when everything felt out of control.
This blog post touches the surface.
The book goes deeper.
If you are in a season where surrender feels painful and uncertain, I pray these pages remind you that God is steady — even when your world is not.
You can learn more about the book here.
